I could have mohawked her pubes.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize