So drunk, too bad you don't want this
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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