After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
