Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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