I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize