I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
