walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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