I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
