i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
