just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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