I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
