Ambien. No doubt about it.
Screwed.edu
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
