You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my vag is so smooth its legendary
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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