She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
