She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
