is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
