i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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