Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
