Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize