Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize