Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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