would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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