you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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