Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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