So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
