why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
