Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
