There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
