dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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