Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
