maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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