ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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