at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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