I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
