Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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