yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize