i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
