so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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