just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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