Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i think i just lost a toe
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize