in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
