You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
