You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize