I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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