just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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