worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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