Whod you bang
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
