i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
