okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
