There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
