Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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