booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
