Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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