she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
