My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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