They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
