I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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