so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize