he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
