Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
